Floridagal's profile
AGE:
45
LOC: Fort Pierce, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 05
LOC: Fort Pierce, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 05
I am a mother of an adult son and two teenage daughters. I am married to a good man who has somehow managed to put up with me for over 20 years. I have been writing in spurts for years. I wrote poetry as a teenager and kept a journal. I am an avid reader and I enjoy blogging. I have been working on the same two novels since I was in my late 20’s.
I have a Law Enforcement background (over 14 years) not only do I dispatch for LEO but I also married one (over 20 year).
I am using this site to post the completed version of ‘There is Sunshine in the Middle of a Hurricane’. This is a very soft murder mystery/romance geared to capture the life style of normal every day people and their ‘adventures’ living in a small South Florida City….
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Version 1
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Emily loved her job and the people she worked with. She was currently assigned to the Fort Pierce Police Department radio on the midnight shift at the E911 St Lucie County Public Safety Center. She’d worked that particular radio for almost 2 years now and she loved it. Up until 2 weeks ago, she felt lucky. Michael worked a specialized division during the day while she slept.. Emily only dealt with him a couple of time a month if that much. She would only hear from him when he was on call and ...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
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Michael sat up and swung his feet to the floor with a thud. Disorientation and confusion automatically caused his body to assume an aggressive stance. Muscles flexed as he prepared to rise off the soft mattress he was sleeping on just seconds prior; his eyes adjusted to the gloom of the darkened room. Familiar objects came into view and he recognized where he was and who he was with. The tension left is body; he shook his head and sighed. Michael arose from the canopied king size bed, being c...
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Version 1
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“Emily!” “Lynette!” The two women embraced in the middle of the bank lobby. “Goodness I haven’t seen you in forever.” Lynette stepped back to get a good look. Her eyebrow arched and the quizzical look warned Emily that she was going to hear something she may not like or worse. “You look like shit. What’s wrong?” “Thanks I think?” she paused but could not help but smile at her old friend then she tried to change the subject. “You look great.” Taller than Emily by almost six inches, Lynette’s l...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
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He followed the pair as they walked hand in hand along the star lit shoreline. He was starting to getting frustrated. The sun had set over the dunes hours ago, he felt like he had waited an eternity. However the sea breeze was light and cool compared to the heat and humidity of the day so at least he was now comfortable. The pungent odor of low tide still mingled with the brisk and refreshing scent of the salt air blowing gently off the ocean reminding him of happier days spent on this same s...
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This is not a bad story but it could use some work. I think you could change the abuse to something that happens every couple of days or during the weekend. Maybe most nights Auntie passes out while Sarah fends for herself. Maybe you have the narrarator tell the story of the parental murder suicide as something she no longer remebers/has chosen to forget. Sarah is portrayed as a sweet innocent 7 year old living with more horror something has to be wrong with her unless she just blocks it all ...
Watch out for run on sentences and your flow. I see a few words you could drop to make it smoother. Your descriptions are good both physical and emotional. It will be interesrting to see where this story is going. This is very different from your last one.
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Definately a better text than the original. Your writing skills are improving. I see a few spelling issues and your sentence structure is much improved but I noticed you have cut back on your descritions maybe too much.
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