Fido's profile

AGE: 18
LOC: Matawan, NJ
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 17

Hey, everyone. My name is Skylar M. This is my fourth urbis account for reasons I’m a tad embarrassed to explain. Originally, my user name was Duke, for some reason I couldn’t choose it again so I went with Fido… just came to me, don’t ask why because I really don’t know.

Anyway, I’ve been a writer since I learned how to spell enough words to weave a story with. Since then I’ve learned a thing or two about what works and what doesn’t. The one all important rule is that if you don’t enjoy writing it, the reader won’t enjoy it either. That’s about all I can tell you for certain, the rest you’ll learn on your own. Enjoy.

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Items

Version 1

11 Reviews 6 Comments

Captain Ezekiel McGuire (Ziek for short, but it’s Captain Mack to you) was on his back again. His most trusted friend, Zeus, a standard issue big fucking gun with a few minor modifications, had been knocked far from his grasp by that last blow and he had little hope of finding it before the next one came. His crew was also nowhere in sight, but he could worry about that after he somehow managed to get the job done without Zeus. Getting back on his feet, Ziek (still Captain M...

Talent - Overall

Amuse / Entertain / Warm a few hearts

Action Adventure - Overall

Possibly Turn Into A Full Novel?

Version 1

3 Reviews 1 Comment

The young man standing across the street from the night club was debating with himself whether or not he should go in. He was told that this would be his escape from his life, a way out of everything he’d been through. He’d been alive for a mere decade and a half but he’d seen his share of misery and mourning. He’d learned early on that he was a slave to an unforgiving fate. This would be his escape. As he began crossing the street the chaotic disaster that was his life sprinted back and for...

Publishable Short Story

Talent - Overall

Short Story - Overall

Version 1

4 Reviews 3 Comments

It is not my opinion that the following event that I’m about to convey to you is exciting, uplifting or entertaining in any way, shape, or form. However I feel as if it is my duty as a writer and as a person to convey them to you anyway because I feel as if someone… anyone needs to know. Tonight I witnessed what I believe to be true evil. It did not come in the form of a suicide bombing, a mass murder or any violence of any kind. It came in the form of how much scorn a mother could show her c...

Non-Fiction - Overall

Fix the world.

Version 1

3 Reviews 1 Comment

Prologue: It’s been almost thirty years since it happened… since Bowser finally went too far. It started out like all of them do, tranquil, serene. I can’t remember if it was some kind of festival or just another day. It doesn’t really matter, what does matter is that he nabbed her again. At first we figured he’d handle, he always did. I mean c’mon, he is called Super after all, and he doesn’t have to put up with half the crap that me or Link have to. He always got it done… always. Something ...

Short Story - Overall

Version 1

1 Review 0 Comments

Paris, France Midnight American Embassy Rooftop A chopper approached from the south, slowly touching down on the roof of the American Embassy in Paris. As it hit the ground, a group of six adorned in what appeared to be similar to SWAT team uniforms piled out. The one who appeared to be their leader came out last. He stood on the rooftop and took out a pair of binoculars. Looking through them and towards the Eiffel Tower, he saw the image translated into shades of red. As he surveyed the city...

Publishable - Overall

Talent - Overall

To be seen by Agents/Publishers

Amuse / Entertain / Warm a few hearts

Novel Treatments - Overall

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Reviews

by katiej

"Matter of fact..." The correct wording here is "As a matter of fact..." but perhaps you're aware of this and it's just your style. I do similar things with mine so I can understand. "... becoming complete kaos..." It's spelled "Chaos" "As I had been contimplating..." It's spelled "contemplating" "to get away from the ship and it's responsiblities" The correct usage is "its", and not "it's" and responsibilities is spelled incorrectly as well. "was my excape. It's one seater cab..." Spelled "e...

by FleaTheElf

"'That guy sure isn’t very nice, he never has been,'” Earlier, you made it clear that Strick has only been on the staff for the current term. Does he already know Crawley well enough to say something about how he has been his entire life? Usually I'm able to find a few more technical or grammatical errors when I read something on Urbis but either this was devoid of such things or I was enjoying it too much to notice. Either one is good news. I like where you're going with this. While I have a...

by slbynum3

"They had forgotten and abandoned the loved ones he’d threatened to harm if they didn’t do his bidding. Now they obeyed Toliath willingly." I have difficulty believing anyone could ever just forgive and forget something of that nature. "He said the words for a telekinesis spell in his head and slowed before touching down, his boots barely rustling the grass." Telekinesis usually refers to the ability to move objects with ones mind, not defy gravity. However this is your story, you can have it...

by snarfus

"Randy grabbed the paper and begin flipping through it." Began, not begin. "... but today he started with the Local Interest section." Any reason in particular for his deviation from his usual routine? Other than the above, I couldn't find any grammatical errors or anything that just seems off. But I do have one question: Whirligig?. I'm assuming the person speaking to him at the end is Polecat, another name I was confused about the effectiveness of, but considering these characters are 14 an...

by Emalie

This was a little bit short, but I would have kept reading after this. I'm assuming your lead character is a vampire, something I enjoy thoroughly, (although the twilight series came close to ruining it for me) despite the overabundance of them in today's media. I think the regretful vamp is getting a tad too cliche but this isn't nearly enough of your story to decide whether or not it will be too done before which, judging by the "notes for reviewer" section, it won't be. I hope you keep wri...

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ITEMS (6)

MEMBERS (2)

by SanityDreamer

by runnerchick2

by Harold_P

by snarfus

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