This was a fun read. You handled the dialogue wonderfully. It has sharp humor. The blood draining from your bloody cock had me laughung out loud. I never realized there where GAYRU"S out there. You've given me an insight into a world I know little about. It was a refreshing fun read.

This was unique and great. The metaphor is brilliant and perfect for the internet obsrssded society we now live in. Rediscovering WiFi is just brilliant. The younger dfaster moddels was a keynote as well. All I have to sy is Kudo's to you and keep up the good work.

This was wiity and unbelivably entertaining. Shampoo and relayy being my top choices. This shows a sharrp wiity intelledct on your part. I believe you shouldd keep this up and perhaps publish a mock dictionary. Keep up the good work.

I like some of th dialogue overall. But Some stuff Like Kaffer, Come on are we in South Africa? It's more of a regional dialect for nigger. I understand the cop hates this person and might be a little racist but, Stick to words real people from an area use. It'll make it a little more realistic. Overall it's an interesting concept. I liked the twist in it. But I find it hard to believe crackdealers go to confession. You use somde nice imagery as well. I'd rework the dialogue a little bit pers...

This story lacked a ton of imagery. It made me not want to continue. Only because there is no great imagery. It also lacked the sense of urgency during the chase and fall. You need toget more into the characters emotion. How are they fedeling. Example instead of saying his heart almost stopped. Say something like- The fear and anxiety crept through his body in powerfull waves paralyzing his mind. You also need to set exactly whats going on in this story better. Your leaving the reader too los...

I liked it. A serious amount of great questionds have been asked. All I can really say is when it comes to writing anything the world is the greatest classroom one could have.The ending is awesome it's a perfecrt way to say fuck it all. I know i've been there myself same situation same cat staring. You write with a powerful voice. Your rebutils are razor sharp in your defense. Keep it up. All fiction has to come from some truth.

I don't really know what to say. I'm lost in this piece. It ddoesn't really give the reader any idea of whats going on except for the fact the protaganist is in some state of psychosis. I believe you need to paint a better picture here and give some background into whats going on rather than just this strange monologue,That probally would make perfect sense if we knew exactly what this story was about. Since the reader doesn't it loses them.

This is beaytiful. I lovved it it rings so true. The only thing you left out was the true meaning of the word thanksgiving . Which is Thanks for giving us the land suckers. Anyways this was a beautiful piece of satire. America was built by sadists in "good" Christian clothes. Keep up the good work.

This is the most brilliant fuck urbis credit system reveiw fuck thing ever. You got it by the balls my friend and you're twisting them hard. If I get a dollar for how many times I had to earn credits reading everybody elses stuff,give them a reveiw,and in return spend said credits to find out in paragraph four sentence six I forgot to place a semi colon or some other bullshit thing I'd be exactly 22,119 dollars richer. So fuck em all your right. Keep up the good work bravo. Your genius shines...

I liked it kind of reminded me a little of Fear and Loathing with you'r description of Baker. Over all it read with the hurried voice of a person explaining a long and tiresome trip. In other words for this peice you got the narrative down pact.