Doctor_Rat's profile
AGE:
49
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 10
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 10
Standing my ground and testing the water
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Our road Swings North to South: A child’s scrawled pencil line Rutted with its iterations, Then rubbed.
Version 1
1 Review
5 Comments
les arbres sont en fleur les arbres sont des fleurs blague farineuse
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
2. ANGELS, WE HAVE HEARD. I'm all in a spin. It's all happened so quickly and I can't seem to believe it. That you're not here anymore. If only I'd ... if only ... but it's no use, you see, and it's all happened so quickly. so strangely, I don't know what to think, can't even ... If I'd known. I'd have been better. Oh yes. But you knew that, didn't you ? And here I am, on a pew, mumbling faces all around me, and what did you ever get from it ? What was it ever worth ? Me on a pew, and you out...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
THE IMITATION PART ONE : INTROIT 1. MORNING HAS BROKEN Everyone who met Dominic Davenport knew him as a happy man. He had a job he enjoyed, he loved his wife, and he and Jenni were expecting their first child. She was blossoming towards the due date with few, if any, problems, and their generally unruffled relationship was a great source of support and of joy. If it could be said of anyone, it was true of Dominic : his life had everything a person could want. Dominic was aware of all this, to...
Version 1
7 Reviews
14 Comments
After we’d talked, and kissed, in the park My evening teemed with cookery. First, the functional: a stir-fry, Green leeks sizzling, the headiness of coriander, Sloshed with a rich-brewed shoyu sauce And served up on its steamy bed of rice. Having fed my family, my thoughts ran free. My wife went out, and the children slept in bed. To the turbulent music of the dishwasher And a burble of Mozart from the front room, First came the beetroot: peeling off its jacket, Wrinkled and dusted grey with ...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I like this a lot. It is very precise, formal, conventional in the best sense, and suggestive to me of all sorts of paths [real and metaphorical]. A skilfully executed and rather charming piece of work. Your sense of rhyme is spot on, and you veer far enough away from cliche. Only specific suggestion would be to find an alternative to 'come' or 'comes' in one or other of the last two lines. The image, and resolution, are great, but I'm not sure the repetition adds anything here. A tiny quibbl...
Hard to disagree. I am trying to work out whether the punctuation is part of the message: a little Newton's Cradle of full stops and commas? That would be anice idea, but I suspect I am reading too much into it. But fun, fun, fun - hard to over-rate it. When I was a kid, I had a club called Fun Club. All the best people play, and kids hardly ever enough. I'm with you on that.
I am afraid, as a UK citizen/subject, that some of the satirical intent of this piece is outside of my ken. However, I appreciate its use of a formulaic opening line ['there once was a ...'], the way you have rhymed 'attached' with 'matched' [wothy of Cole Porter, that one!], and the completeness of your image. Not so sure of the half rhyme of 'Gibbs' and 'lips' [though I guess that might depend on your accent]. I also admire the sheer wilful ambition of the series of limericks you have embar...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Hi there! I'm not sure if I reviewed an earlier version of this? What an extraordinary piece of writing: dense with meaning and numinous words to the point of bursting. I had read and re-read it, and on the one hand it conjures some powerful, succinctly rendered natural imagery [as a traditional haiku should], but there seem to be layers upon layers behind this: memories of the fall [snake, fall]; a passage of time; all those 'll's creating a tongue-twistingly tortuous read. Then that final, ...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People


















