Very interesting poem. I assume that he refuses to look at a more sensitive side of life. A) He is like most men. Stoic to a fault. B) You need artistic stimulation. C) Someday you will find a common ground to share. I like this poem because it reminds me of me. I was so artistic in my younger years, and let that side go for material things. I now regret that, and I am looking within for the deeper things I have missed. Great poem, it sure made me think.

Indeed. From out of the Light come wonders as well. And Truth....well I guess that is subjective. It is a great quote nonetheless.

stream of consciousness footprints seldom seen in summer heels deep in hot sand

ROT STONES ICE had me rolling! "illegitimate cousin of a lymerick"...haha... I guess I am like you when you started. I took many liberties (and still do) and caught the flak of tradionalists. Are we looking for the new Basho here? Senryu and Rensaku are becoming clearer to me. LEARN LOVE segues nicely. This should be a fun and joyful genre. HAIKUDO ME evokes the awe and serious nature of this endeavor. Well balanced and a delight to read. I gave tens, except for Worlds Mightiest Hero. Well a ...

Honestly, this is the best thing I have read all day. The grammatical part can easily be corrected. The subject matter is heartwrenching. Good luck and write on!

Hmmmm....some kind of food? A hard boiled egg?

A beautiful piece of work. A lovely tribute to your father. I can see nothing structurally or gramatically wrong with this poem. Without your explanation that it was written for your father, I would have maybe interpreted it in a different way. What I mean by that is that the theme is universal. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your poem is filled with angst and love, and very well expressed.

These lyrics are very well written, and have stood the test of time. The temptations of which you speak have sent my mind reeling (mostly because I grew up in the same era.) I especially like the imagery of the eyes. Winters words and sheltered secrets. Sorrow, secrets, harm and temptation make a powerful statement in one set of lyrics. I do believe a short chorus would break up the last two stanzas nicely. Even one line.

Haha....this was such an amusing story. And your storytelling skills are right up there with Erma Bombeck. I can't critique a piece that is flawless. I will say that you brought a smile to my face.