DemonGoddess's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: NY, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 06
LOC: NY, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 06
My name is Davida. I am a 17 year old writer. I hang out with my friends when I get the chance.
I love to write and get critiques. I know that with every critique I get, I become a better writer. And when I get this much better, I will have serious people knocking at my door.
You probably don’t want to hear anymore, so I’ll leave you be.
Whoo!
Items
Version 2
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Killing yourself in your wedding dress.
Version 2
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Last Living Souls By: Davida Clark Of course, the situations surrounding his impregnation were a mystery, but Kaolin’s approaching delivery was very apparent. With all of the death and turmoil around him, he could have just ended his life like all the others, becoming a suicide statistic. But the kicking being inside his body kept him going. Ever since the water born mutations began, and the people changed, becoming… different, the life that we knew as normal had ended. There was no medical n...
Version 1
8 Reviews
1 Comment
“Bacchanalian” By: Davida Clark If it was a movie, the scene would have gone something like this: The rain falls down heavily on a sea of people. The camera focuses on a Greenwich Village street corner, on a teenager, me. My T shirt sticks to my skin, and my black hair falls stringy around my face, completely soaked with from shower-like downpour. Brown eyes, once closed, are open and fogged over with pure ecstasy. A parade of rainbows passes in front of me as I raise my arms, screaming, flai...
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
Last Living Souls Of course, the situations surrounding his impregnation were a mystery; but Caolia’s approaching delivery was very apparent. With all the death, and turmoil around him, he could have just ended his life like all the others, their bodies now strewn in the city streets, but the kicking being inside kept him going. Ever since the water-born mutations began, and the people changed, became… cannibalistic. And then the virus gained the capability to go through bodily fluids. It wen...
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Reviews
When I started on the first page of this story, I was a bit hesitant about the quality. I thought that there was an overuse of the word "corn" in the first paragraph. I also thought that running away just so you don't have to shuck some corn was a bit silly. It was like running away so you don't have to clean your room. I don't know why, but I thought that the two main characters were older, at least in their early teens, when I know rebellion starts to bloom. I like that the Junior's father ...
If this is who I think it is, I just read another one of your poems, and it does read like a rap, or something Dr.Seuss would write down. It reminds me of something that someone on speed, or another upper drug would write to describe how they felt. I get the feeling you were very anxious. Maybe you could put this into a book, it shows the emotion really well. I'd love to read your other things, I enjoy your style.
I'm giving you a five, because word structure, it's pretty nice. But because it's just one continual sentence with no type of commas or anything, I have to take credit away. It's probably a really good poem, but I think you should revise it, with better formatting. I'd like to read it again when you've done that.
I like this quote because I know from experience that that is EXACTLY how my writing life is. It was a good use of a limited amount of space. Congrats.
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