DefectiveBrilliance's profile

I kinda get your pattern, but you only have 5 words, and 6 wouldn't likely have made what could be called profound.

It is a sweltering summer day, and this piece took me to a long ago winter night. Well done. The message is beautiful, yet feels a bit incomplete somehow. Still, it is clear, and is an interesting way to think of standing against tyranny and opression.

I like this one better than the last one, although I must say that the grammatical errors were very distracting "She's knows what's best". Also, you need to learn to minimize word usage. Instead of saying "Left to wander – not while with me.", say "not with me". I'm sure many females would be enraged by this, but it is true. Women like to feel kept. They like to feel secure and protected, which is precisely why I am a failure at all relationships and by rights should be either gay or complete...