Deadsage's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Springfield, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 07
LOC: Springfield, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 07
I write words. I read words.
I am in love with creativity.
I don’t care about titles, education, or experience. I am here to learn and to help others learn.
I avoid most people because I’m disgusted by their unwillingness to bend. I am a contradiction in terms, a Misanthropic Humanist.
Items
Version 3
13 Reviews
13 Comments
Human evolution, a wondrous spark: one thousand three hundred grams of horns, claws, venom, and tusks. Our egos fight like angry lions, tooth-scraped bone, wounding pride, balanced the power precariously. Merciless with sharpened stick we argued undeniable truths, and proved our sophistication. Found facing the absolute, we stood sneeringly speechless, and irrefutably mistaken. Unwilling to submit suggestions, we accepted to be told nothing; but it had to end sometime. Our disoriente...
Version 4
12 Reviews
10 Comments
Shadows cast on tonight's silence, Memories fade in limited spectrum, While you calmly take out my eyes. Leaving hazy peripheral images; Fragmented ideas hollowed out, The shells left behind by bullets. A broken light switch comes to mind, And a door knob that will not turn. Innocence shed like skin cells. Shameful details I won't remember, Denial scabs, clotted disassociation, A fever seizing infected thoughts. A thousand follicles fail to refuse Your frozen grasp on...
Version 2
18 Reviews
13 Comments
Perched under darkness you once distracted Facing into light with pallid flashes Without saying it I admit defeat Paralyzing fear keeps me in my seat Reality shorted emitting distress Crossed-wires soldered to delightful flesh I am insulated now disconnected Newborn nightly by hope reflected Digitally immersed ported out, remote, Eye-strained, snow-blind my sleeping days float Of being pushed out no regret or fear Because nowhere could be further from here.
Version 1
19 Reviews
18 Comments
Do you remember the names I whispered to your essence as you, crawling from the brine, sought meaning for shifting clouds and assigned reasons for my mood? In that moment holding close, I embraced your novelty, marveled at endless progress, endured the painful changes, as we grew farther apart. Secrets hid in mystic ruins, tempting you from womb to tomb. Old age made you an infant, While the sun burned with fever and every ocean steeped brown. I wrote names across the sky as yo...
Version 5
18 Reviews
22 Comments
Pipes scale walls in empty apartments, haunted by the spirits of people hung by rafters for sheer joy. But now we have a better way. The boredom within this instant contains endless centuries of progressive thought, each ending with a red-cone-blinking-light and a sign solemnly reading, “Dead End.” Instead, a single device offers peace in place of fruitless study and thought. It waits patiently, with dead circuits, powerless. When suddenly, light stretches forth, like wall...
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Reviews
Great delivery, funny story. Starting out with a bit more scenery description and setup might help. Help the reader to get their bearings a bit before launching into the dialog. As is you've plopped us right down in the middle of the scene, which is a kind of sketch comedy approach. I think you should add in at least one more player. Dave's understandable reaction and his "straight-man" (in the comedy sense) status hinge on everyone else being crazy. One more person to like the obviously stup...
It's another "I miss you, I need you." poem. I'm not a great audience for that. I didn't gather any emotional depth from this, but it does reads with love, lust, and longing which are all very easy to relate to. The poem flows well mostly by artificial means, line breaks followed by "and..." will make even completely unrelated lines seem related. Your passion borders at times on exhibitionism. You've presented images of rainstorm make-out sessions either to enhance the reader's experience or ...
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