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Darkness_of_Midnight's profile
AGE:
15
LOC: West Des Moines, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 19
LOC: West Des Moines, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 19
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Version 1
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Twilight was just settling in the sky, but was masked by a cover of clouds and fog. A fey flitted down a gray street, darting among the shadows, hiding. Her breath came heavy as she fled to the sanctuary of her village. But she just couldn't stop. Her life was at stake. She hated being on the ground. The air and clouds were her home, but she couldn't be there, couldn't fly to the sky. She unfolded her wings, doing a once over, sending pain shooting up and down her sp...
Version 1
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The stone floor felt cold and damp, the wall behind me just the same. I had no reminiscence of where I was or how I had even gotten here. I opened one eye, looking around. Everything was just dark and gray, stones lining the circular room, both walls and floor. The ceiling seemed to never come; there was only black darkness above me, a darkness my sight was not accustomed to. I still felt a little drowsy. I meant to rub my eyes, but I couldn’t move my arms. I looked up, to ...
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Reviews
Wow! That was really pretty good! I didn't see much to work on except for a few grammatical errors here and there. But other than that, it was good. I can't wait to read more!
Very interesting, I liked the similes used. I feel like you should choose whether you want it in any sort of verse, but that's just my take. otherwise, really good!
It was very interesting. I liked how you wrote it, and it sounded very good as poetry.
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