Again, I love these quotes; unfortunately, they do not meet standards for the memoir, since it tells me nothing about your life. If it was just a rating on quotes, this is a wonderful one. It is polished and timeless.

This was a wonderful piece, and I can feel tears in my eyes as I connect with it. I think you have done an incredible job of encompassing so much feeling into so few, short lines. My only concern is, though very pretty, I feel like "amen" was used simply for the rhyme scheme. Is there some way you could tweak that to help with the rhythm of the poem? As it is now, it sticks out a bit. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

I thought this was a wonderful short story, and certainly of a different flavor than any I have read from the viewpoint of the fly. Kudos for new material. I would say that it still needs a bit of editing, such as in the last line, "sweeped" should be "swept". Otherwise, wonderful imagery, and I would even have liked a bit more added to the story to flush it out a bit.

I see a lot of promise in this poem, but overall it is not visually appealing, and the rhythm of the piece tends to falter. I would almost suggest creating two stanzas from the first one so that it more accurately sets the pace for the following words. I particularly love the stanza about the pilgrim greeting Death, because not only does it feel like a pivotal moment, it also finally gives us insight as to the nature of the pilgrim. Wonderful read, can't wait to read any future edits. Thank y...

I have to say that I enjoyed the last one better, mostly because it was more understandable. I see that you are using terms that best fit the Sci-Fi theme, but I think there are just too many of said words for one short drabble, but that's just my opinion. I suppose I am trying to say that it feels...claustrophobic, and a bit wordy. Also, using the word "humanoid" for Grabowski definitely makes the main character sound like the alien, which was a very cute twist on the last one. I can't wait ...

Though I enjoy the visuals from this poem, the clarity is lacking for me. I think it is actually the very first line that throws me off. Are you insinuating that these cats sleep in window wells? Also, I am seeing influences here from two continents, and that is breaking my attention to the poem. Could you perhaps use a different type of rodent in the story that ties in more accurately to the landscape? Lastly, S2, L3 and L4 break the tempo of the poem which in turn breaks my train of thought...

A supremely poignant piece that draws not on a nation's horror, but simply that of two souls in love. I particularly enjoyed the rawness of this piece, and the title is brilliant. I think I understand that you want to show conversation with the chief and other firefighter as vague, like it's not getting through the character's garbled thoughts, but the third stanza was a bit hard to digest after going from an intimate morning to on the job. I would suggest perhaps adding a stanza in between S...

I thought this was a wonderful piece, and I love how you play with the stanzas. The only recommendation that I have is to omit the word "can" in IV S2 L2. Seems that the tempo is better that way to me. My favorite is III, concise and witty. Wonderful punctuation!

Succinct and highly visual, but the last line bothers me a bit. The idea of harvesting something dead just doesn't jive in my head, I suppose. Perhaps simply changing the word harvest would suffice; however, I cannot decide on a more appropriate word. I would probably change to entire last line to match with the sense of death and decay in the first two. I look forward to a revision, and thank you for the opportunity to read your work.

You do an amazing job of illuminating your characters' personalities! I have already fallen in love with them. My biggest concern with this treatment is the grammatical mistakes, i.e. too many commas, disconnects between ideas from inappropriate spacing, and fragments, though as far as the fragments go, I do like a couple of them, specifically the ones pertaining to Pike's thought processes. Let's face it, we think in fragments. On a personal note, thank you for explaining the jargon for thos...