DarkHuntress's profile

DarkHuntress avatar
AGE: 24
LOC: Salisbury, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 04

I am a fledgling writer in a sense that I am unpolished.  So, enjoy me in the raw, for tomorrow I will learn more to apply to my work.  I am an avid reader, and constantly amazed by the varied work of others.  I love to sing and dance, and generally enjoy all of the simple things life has to offer.  

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / FaceSpace Miss Tell
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
I am greeted with bright red text screaming “New Messages!” as I log in. It appears there are four from my amphibious and perfectly porous girlfriend, Tchegunda, and I open them eagerly. Message 1 (7/22, 9:20 am): You were magnificent last night. Who knew you could do that with a waffle iron? My tentacles writhe. I struggle to get myself under control. Message 2 (7/22, 5:16 pm): Lover, I’m not going to make it tonight. Sorry! Message 3 (7/22, 8:12 pm): Leaving now! Keep those horns sharp for...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Undetermined
Version 1
8 Reviews   10 Comments
The cold started at the base of her spine, trailing upwards lazily, jolting her awake. It continued between her shoulder blades, light as a feather, but weighty as lead. She gasped as freezing tendrils that felt like fingers wrapped around her neck. She jerked from under the covers, clawing at her neck, choking from the fear and the overwhelming sensation of cold. As she looked at herself in the bedroom vanity, she realized there were no fingers, just the trickling drops of blood oozing from...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Untitled
Version 2
5 Reviews   11 Comments
Shivering. The kind of deep down shaking that can only spring from pure fear, and has nothing to do with the weather. A darkness she can't escape from. The room with no windows and a locked door. The room so small and dim she felt she would surely suffocate, die in this forsaken room, the hell of her young life. And yet, if she could die in this darkness, she would never again hear those footsteps, see that little crack of light that grew as he entered. Always drunk, always so angry, so hate...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Random Junk
Version 1
6 Reviews   10 Comments
Whitney's eyes snapped open in the same instant that her arm shot out to silence the screaming alarm clock on the bedside table. She had always hated alarm clocks. Their howling reminder of the time always seemed to make her day get off to a horrible start. Today was Monday, and she had to work at the gym from ten in the morning until eight that night. She didn't mind; in fact, it was her favorite job. She flexed like a cat, sprawling in the large empty bed, working out the kinks in her muscl...
Ratings & Rankings
Lyrics / Wasted
Version 1
4 Reviews   2 Comments
Head pounding with the pain Still I see you The arms in which I have lain Vanished with the sun Where did you go, away from here What dreams have become, become unreal Raking my life to pieces, shedding wasted tears And there you are, once again Ripping into my soul Taking my life in your hands Dig your nails in to grab ahold Wasting it all again And I cry in the dark In the corners I hide my shame Evils rising, past to swallow whole So bright a world when you came Makes me feel the darkness ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Novel Treatments / First Dead Chapter 3
You do an amazing job of illuminating your characters' personalities! I have already fallen in love with them. My biggest concern with this treatment is the grammatical mistakes, i.e. too many commas, disconnects between ideas from inappropriate spacing, and fragments, though as far as the fragments go, I do like a couple of them, specifically the ones pertaining to Pike's thought processes. Let's face it, we think in fragments. On a personal note, thank you for explaining the jargon for thos...
Haiku/Senryu / Stuffed
Succinct and highly visual, but the last line bothers me a bit. The idea of harvesting something dead just doesn't jive in my head, I suppose. Perhaps simply changing the word harvest would suffice; however, I cannot decide on a more appropriate word. I would probably change to entire last line to match with the sense of death and decay in the first two. I look forward to a revision, and thank you for the opportunity to read your work.
Poetry / Truth And Lies
I thought this was a wonderful piece, and I love how you play with the stanzas. The only recommendation that I have is to omit the word "can" in IV S2 L2. Seems that the tempo is better that way to me. My favorite is III, concise and witty. Wonderful punctuation!
A supremely poignant piece that draws not on a nation's horror, but simply that of two souls in love. I particularly enjoyed the rawness of this piece, and the title is brilliant. I think I understand that you want to show conversation with the chief and other firefighter as vague, like it's not getting through the character's garbled thoughts, but the third stanza was a bit hard to digest after going from an intimate morning to on the job. I would suggest perhaps adding a stanza in between S...
Though I enjoy the visuals from this poem, the clarity is lacking for me. I think it is actually the very first line that throws me off. Are you insinuating that these cats sleep in window wells? Also, I am seeing influences here from two continents, and that is breaking my attention to the poem. Could you perhaps use a different type of rodent in the story that ties in more accurately to the landscape? Lastly, S2, L3 and L4 break the tempo of the poem which in turn breaks my train of thought...