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Dainakat's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 26
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 26
I’m a teenager looking for writers and others who publish writers to critique me. I want to be pschologist/writer when i’m grown up. I don’t usually edit my work before posting. I want to to know how it makes you feel. I have to be completely truthful with strangers and you should know i write dark and depressing stories/poems because i am dark and depressed. I live life to a full ,but i can’t hadle the things around me.
~Daina
Items
Version 1
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Here is the problem, Obama vs McCain I don't care. I think that this country basically sucks right now like Obama he wants change and is in experienced McCain wants change but he is well,He is old. I don't want an inexperienced president and I don't want an old one either. However, I'm willing to have a president who everyone hates, because that person isn't in it for the glory that person is in it to actually change this world. It's like highschool, who gets voted for Class president the one...
Version 1
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She survived it, could I someday?
Version 1
3 Reviews
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Causing uproar on paper and pen.
Version 8
2 Reviews
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He never stepped on me and my soft shell. He pushed me away, and hid me in the dark cold shadows of his basement. I was just another cockroach to a dirty old man that was supposed to care. Meant to be untouchable, I should have been able to take over the world get rid of the insolent man. I never could though. I was too fragile, too small. And so that night I would let go. Drift away from this horrible place, but why was dying the only way to end my suffering? How did I come to the conclusio...
Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Dreams conquer my day your nights will fall- the sky is golden with magical light never healing the sorrow of tomorrow the moon brings the mares releasing our fears I beg and beg I plead and plead "please" I say "please don't leave me" gentle whirlpools flow through your eyes one step more and your foot will be gone your body fall flat my heart, where would it go? leave me tonight be there in the morning I'm committed to you and your jsut committed...
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Reviews
I want this to be a story, I feel like it needs more and needs to be out there. Teenagers do analyze we aren't just out in the world vandalizing. And go yuo for not correcting your grammar I have 7 versions of one thing because I keep having to check my grammar. This was really well written you didn't even sound 16.
I think the ending needs a little more. I think with the main character you really need asex scene somewhere. I like how you set up the story and everything else. I didn't understand the beating up part. I enjoyed everything else. You worked really hard on this story and it was well written it just needs more end and maybe more explantaion to the beating up.
Your poem was indecisive. The end of "Love is...?" jsut isn't a good oe couldn;t you have it be "Love is unknow" or jsut some kind of ending phrase. I liked the descriptions but I dont like the last line of each stanza it personifies love ina confusing way.
How can lucifer be in limbo? I did like it but i jsut get lost within its essence what is it about i got lost. The last stnza and the first seem totally differnet and unrelated.
I really liked this poem but the butter-churning referrnce lost me. The Begininng and end are good. Why "he" why not just he?
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