Daemalous's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: Colorado Springs, CO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 13
LOC: Colorado Springs, CO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 13
having a wife and 2 baby boys is hard. Having a wife 2 boys and trying to compose their future with my writing is greuling…but every minute i spend crafting a better life for my family is worth going through all the crapified nonsense of life. Dont regret what you’ve done wrong…admire yourself for the flaws you’ve accomplished…you would scare me if you were perfect
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Through mistakes we learn Within flaws we are unique Perfection scares me
Version 3
3 Reviews
2 Comments
One The summoning There was no presence of life for miles. Blind forever are the unfortunate souls that end up lost in the Crystalline Desert. Blasted by the sun, the surface would boil any water left by rain. Sear any critter to dust. Large mounds of bluish crystal were scattered through out the land that jutted out of the ground and up into the sky—some over a hundred feet. The sands, lost forever from an explosion by the gods. What had been left behind was rigid and cracked gl...
Version 1
2 Reviews
4 Comments
Part one Prelude to the Storm I will never forget how much it hurts. Every time that I have been charged with that horrible act. Every time we had to fight, every time I had to put him down, it has killed a part of me. And it kills me now just being out here, where we last fought. The scars upon my soul match that of the ground I walk on. What was once a beautiful utopia, now nothing but a blinding wasteland. As though I run my fingers across such a jagged and luminescent surface, it reminds ...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
They Swirled. They Danced. Beautiful and vibrant were the colors. As the brilliant auras moved faster and faster, with less and less harmony, they began colliding every so often. Every massive crash of light released large waves of luminous energy, reverberating in all directions. The marvelous light show was silent until the subtle sound of squawking could be heard, echoing in the distance. The sound grew heavier and louder—and annoying. The wondrous dream was over, and as the child w...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
ok so this version is alot better. youve improved how you describe the sence and emotions. i like the new openning although its done in present tense when the rest of the story is in past. but an easy fix. i found a few more things you can work on. once again all easy fixes to provide large improvement. A little pinprick of fear tickled his mind--when purveying an emotion like this...stay away from words like tickled. try using "scurried" instead. both men strong enough to kill the other, bot...
ok well this was a great chapter...i love the playfullness of the characters. it really gets you attached to them and im sure thats what you want. So when tradegy happens its hurts us more then normal and we want revenge just as the characters do. Im in love with the scenary and the world youve created. all very believable. i feel like im playing a very fun video game. having said that here are a few words of wisdom to help perfect your story... This priestly display<<<a little awkar...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People








