In my personal opinion I think the 'feet with no toes' line is out too far out because I almost missed it when reading but I like what you have done with that layout and the link with the speration of the toes from the feet.

I think to make this more engaging you need to remover 'The answer is torture'. Leaving it as a rhetorical invited the reader to think a little and encouraging them to read on. This is of course up to you but is my personal preference. I like how the lack of punctuation helps a long piece like this flow easily from one thought on to the next.

Very insiteful, this speaks to me. I like how this creates an alternate saying to 'dont bottle things up', it's alot more interesting and catchy. I like the choice of words such a 'bleed' it seems almost uncontrollable which is an effective image in this context.

I love your rhyming scheme here it's catchy and flows really well and with several different rhymes per stanza, there is alot of variety keeping the interest and the flow. I think at this point 'Melody, voice an easy choice, a story to be told' the flow stutters slightly. In my opinion i think you need to lengthen the first part before the first comma because I kind of tripped over the words as I was reading them. Of course this is an opinion and really my only fault and it is still not reall...

I personally like how the way the poem flows is quite quick and smooth, adding to the effect of time slipping away. The layout is engaging, it also looks as if it is slipping, again this links in with the theme nicely.

It is just the perfect display of female dominance. How any woman with power is seen as a 'bitch' just because she is not interested in a man who is not up to her standard. I love the mythical expample used to convey this. It puts a whole new spin on the situation. For a 'bunch of rhyming words' it tells a wonderful story. Your use of vocabluary is quite enchanting as it ties everything together nicely without overdoing it as I have seen time and time again. I can see the effect you are tryin...

haha, setting a bad example for students everywhere! But hey! If it works, it works. love it.

The urgency to feel like you belong is very strong in this poem. With the endless ammounts of questions and 'food for thought' engaging the reader. The scattered layout and lack what seems a lack of structure builds an idea of confusion and an idea of being lost and lonely, not quite knowing where you stand or where you belong. There is not much flow to this piece and that makes some people feel uncomfortable which I think works really well here because it is quite a blunt piece, almost despe...

I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'stressed to the vest' but it sounds quite cool, it gives an edgey, unorganised feel which is a side effect of stress. I like the idea of repetition in here and the dilemma over sitting and standing it allows the poem to convey the feeling of things running round in circles in your head, never ending, that sort of thing - which again is related to stress. It is very well written and linked to the theme nicely. Just for a bit of constructive criticism - "My ...

You've done it again! it's been so long before I have read anything you have written and oh how i have missed it! I can't put my finger on how you do it, you pull of such a weighty issue, and spin it so it sounds light-hearted. It is very similar to the way children's nursery rhymes have deeper meanings and lessons to learn yet they're so addictive and cheerful you learn the lesson subconsciously but then at the same time it does not have the innocent feeling about it, probably because you're...