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Cleveland's profile
AGE:
64
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 06
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 06
I review for two main line authors.
My first book ‘Moondust’ published.
Second novel ‘BILLABONGO’published 8th Dec 2008. See Amazon,etc.
The blurb:
When a ghost fails to scare-off three highly- spirited children from spending their summer holidays in a Cotswold Manor House, the scene of a murder-mystery, something HAS to happen.
The police are puzzled by the Sherlock Holmes type crime but nothing alters until the children, finding an Indian artefact with shape-changing powers, call up a silky Unicorn for many adventures.
The children must complete their mission or be doomed to Billabongo forever, though adults Jarge and Nakota Towa try to help them.
The magical Unicorn and the children continue to fight against the evil witch …
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Flowers grow within me: quite special in my mind. I nurture them, love them, watching how they unwind. Better than other ones, these three flowers of mine, excite, thrill, how I feel, no need for drugs, or wine. I mean the humble Rose, Queen of artistic grace, her red petals capture me, spellbound, held in my place. Oh Rose! Go on and on, like rhythms in a song, symbolic too in looks. Quiet. Faint echo of a gong. Then cup shaped Tulip, her colours going wild, blue, yellow, red, such shades, d...
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It is darkest at dawn and that's when I cry, Nature holds truths: to me you never lie. The whispering wind blows soft through your hair, then memory seeks you, I cannot but care. But now time hunts us like a snake out of the night, bringing conflict, things never right. As my world shatters, it is in sadness I'll walk slowly that mile, to your grave, linger awhile. Love cuts deep in my poor heart, I still cherish you, even apart. Say your name, utter my sighs, then home. Tears; you in my eye...
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I'm a writer who loves to read all kinds of books, and 'The Invisible Worm' goes straight to the No 1 position at top of my pile. Three pages in and I was 'hooked', stunned by events happening in an ordinary community. I could relate to it all. But there was more. Away flew the intrigue leaving, in stark contrast, those twists and turns of a diseased mind exposed. I now shared the thoughts of a sweetly- sick killer driven towards a goal, a victim. I knew who it was and cringed waiting for tha...
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There came a shout, the day war broke out, I trembled at the dreaded hour, I remember too the fear, the day so clear, when milk went sour. Across the fields a chilling wind blew but there was more to come, when from deep inside Mother Earth the sound of a harrowing drum. The neat beat was not of feet, but a warning sent from high, of shattered lives and limbs, sadly men pledged to die. What price we pay for this strip of cherished flag, this love , this passion for freedom, my friend? It has ...
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There is something exciting about opening and reading a new book. It remains for me an enjoyable experience. I'd compare it to greeting an old friend and exchanging lots of conversation, and still wanting more. So in the same way Creature Features weaves a kind of spell bringing us glimpses of past winners and their outstanding stories. It is said animals never lie. Take a look into their eyes, see the love and affection these creature hold for man, for us, but better still pick up the book a...
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Very briefly your query letter ,though it has an attraction, lacks the three essential key elements that make up a query letter. Specifically : your QL opens with a question. It needs to be replaced with a 'hook.' What part of the plot or the whole book can be summed up into a sentence that will grab the eyes of the agent? You need to find that 'hook' to keep the agent reading. Next the synopsis of the plot without too specific details. Include the aims of the hero, what disasters he faces an...
Interesting story. Though use of Mikell ; Marcus; Martika and Master can confuse the reader. Consider changing their names so they don't all start with the same letter. In your opening to chapter 14 there is too much telling. Suggest using the recipe : Action.Dialogue.Action. Maybe: As Lauriana headed her horse at speed into the dense forest she ducked her head to avoid the low branch of a tree. "Damn this forest!" she shouted aloud, reining in before she was struck by another branch. Then ke...
I've read your query and suggest the genre is mentioned in the greeting to the agent. Then the number of words should be mentioned at the bottom of the letter after your signature. What is missing is a suitable hook. I mean a line that will catch the eye of the agent and make that person keep right on reading. Maybe something like: When CIA agent Ridley Fox learns about a deadly microbe he knows he will die, like the rest of the world, in his desperate attempt to defeat those responsible unle...
The 3 pages reaf fie but the synopsis is too detailed.Aim to reduce it to 2 pages. Good work otherwise.
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