Charley_Groth's profile

Wednesdays With Reggie       “You carry bottles of Mountain Dew here?” I ask the bartender.   “Yeah, but we only use it for the Dew bombs.”   “Can I get just like a whole bottle?”   “Oops, sorry bud, I need to save these.”   “Give me a pitcher of Bud Light.”   “Damn” I say spinning in my seat towards Reggie.   “No Dew,” he fake frowns.   Reggie, my large lon...

CNA CONFIDENTIAL     My new job is growing less new by the shift. It's definitely lost that new job smell, which in this line of work is a good thing. So more aptly, I’ll say, six months as a Certified Nurses Aide is growing less new by the shit.    The smell of shit doesn't bother me at all anymore, not that I was that sensitized in the first place, blessed with three young children and a very bad dog. I accepted the smell of ass matter a long time ago, as a b...

The future of ashes of dead concubines, Sweet valentines, and thine Allow the sweet master to rule and divide Flashin’ light flashin’ The fourth of July Fishin’ and splashin’ My pet porcupine Ashes of ashes of ashes of mine I’ve never committed a crime I’ve never killed a thing but you still lie limp on a dead porch swing But now it’s time To spill my guts And now it’s time for thine For a kick in the nuts It’s the only way you can rule and divide

I've made it a point to smoke as much as possible since they passed that goddamn law. That fucking ordinance. Fuck you governor. Fuck you, I’m gonna have fun. I’m gonna sop up my last plate lickins of freedom with the hard drinkin’, two-pack a-day-of-non-filters, good-timin’ folk. Unlike you Governor. What? Did Lance peddle over to the capitol and wrap one of his yellow wristbands around your big gubernatorial nuts. Fuck you Lance Armstrong. I got two words for ya. !!!FLASH MOB!!!! That's ri...

So- the flood was shitty. I'm sorry. The great GOD BLESS CEDAR RAPIDS HISTORIC, DEVASTATING, NATIONALS NEWS GETTING, and PRESIDENT BUSH SUMMONING flood was shitty. It's nice to look back and laugh. Not really, this shit sucks for a lot of people. It would very disrespectful to the situation as a whole to laugh... But we can kinda giggle at the bloopers. I mean, for most the flood was something to watch on TV. No one actually saw the flood because Radio D.J's made fun of people who like to lo...