Chaos's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Joplin, MO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 17
LOC: Joplin, MO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 17
My name’s Racheal. I love writing. I believe poetry is the perfect way to express one’s self. Like many of you, I have been publlished, but I don’t do this for fame or fortune. (I’m sure you know most poets aren’t famous till after their deaths, i.e. Emily Dickinson.) I will take all the critism you can take, because, unlike some of the hot heads on here, I AM here to expand my horizons. I am not here to be told I suck or to tell anyone else that.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
The stress of life wears me down. I’m looking for acceptance, received with a frown. The world has it’s demons, but noone cares to run. They seek the light, but stray from the sun. Life is insane, but we all understand. Love is essential, but sex a demand. Lover’s lost are never needed, But wise man's words are never headed.. Life is given up for "broken hearts", but the truth brings us all to shame. Rain only comes with inconvience, but sometimes its best to wash ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
The tears I cry, fall untouched to the floor. The lies you told, bare fruit no more. I look back, while walking through your door. These thoughts will fade, And we'll be nevermore. So I dry my tears, Erase your calls, And burn your memory Among dry leaves. 'Cause it's just me, Your forgotten beauty. It's just me, The one you fail to see.
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
I love a man I never had. I long happiness without the sad. I feel the pain others don't. I've done the deeds others won't. I hide myself from all but you. I speak the words that are all but true. I need the love you hide from me. I need to feel what I cannot see. Screw the world and its faultless glory. I tell the tale that is much more gory. I feel the blood from my body leave. I held the the load you could not heave. I am the ghost of love that's lost. I am the night that screams out the c...
Version 1
24 Reviews
6 Comments
Things are never as bad as they seem, they just aren't always as good as you'd wish.
Version 3
3 Reviews
0 Comments
To the untrained eye, I am insane. In the dark of night, I am the rain. I feel your breath, I need your kiss. I long for death, still another miss. To the lost spirits, I am free. To the captured, I cannot be. You hear my words and refuse to speak. I reach for you but am far too weak.
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I find this one to be rather vague, it might be useful for the reader. What did she steal? I do like this, but it seems to lack flow which makes it difficult to get a sense the first read through.
L1 "spread eagle" Lets the reader know what you are refering to right off the bat, but also seems to be a little crude compared to the rest of the poem, I would remove it. I would also change 'thee' and 'thy'. They would be fine if you used them move throughout to poem, but you don't so they sound odd. L2 I love this line. It brings the whole poem into perspective. L4 is one of the lucious lines you are so good at. "i spit and see where it crawls" I love the abstract thought in this. L11 sorr...
L4 "feel you pulse throughout every vein," sounds better as 'feel your pulse throughout my veins' L5 "paint, to" take the comma out of this, it makes it more personal. L7 take "never once to abuse you, for it is not my way" out. In this poem, you don't need to emphasis abuse. It is obvious that abuse is not in the heart in this one and kind of throws you off when you're reading it. I think you could take that out and take out "instead to" from L8 and just combine L7 and L8. Together those two...
Definitely cute. Very good use of a limerick. I like the use of clever and endeavor to rhyme, they work well together. Thanks for sharing.
L1 "depression is forever" I would change this to 'the never-ending depth' You don't need to begin the poem with 'depression' and even though 'forever deep' is something most of us would say, it is not proper and seems unprofessional in writing. L3 I would change "be" to 'is' L11 "when all is leaked out" this doesn't flow consider changing to 'when it all leaks out' L12 "bedside plugs" IDK what those are. Can you explain. And in L13 I would change "is" to 'to.' "some life still resides inside...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People















