Chago's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: South Bend, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 04
LOC: South Bend, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 04
I am looking to see if there is a place for the my writing. Is there an audience for me. I want to attrack someone who could help me move to the next level. All help is welcomed. Don’t be shy to shoot me straight…
I am 29 and based out of Indiana
PLEASE READ: I need feed back everything really. Writing Style and content.
Items
Version 2
39 Reviews
6 Comments
I have run aground. It seems with all the insanity in the world, I can not figure out a good topic in which to address. There are a multitude of swine out there waiting to be addressed. But who…who would be so intensely available to flex mind-numbing words with? Without a noble target, I shall focus on an event each day… THE BOOK STORE I have lost the ability to banter…to toss vicious words at will is a true art form. I no longer have my muse…gone. I am fighting with myself…Don’t leave again ...
Version 3
35 Reviews
4 Comments
Sleep once again eluded me…the savage nights are brutal in the manner that they are empty. A psychedelic combination of colors screamed from the TV once again. What ever happen to the national anthem and the English guy selling cutlery? Boredom takes hold with both hands this past night, daring me to find something to do. By god, that is a task which appears to be never ending and never achieving. The thought of potential mental paralysis began to seep in…like a soft stew in the mental caviti...
Version 2
44 Reviews
9 Comments
More events have come of late…ones that required me bear the uniform of acceptance…yes, the Khakis. The Khakis are destroying the world within I live. People are considering them to be the new blue jeans. What the Fuck is that about. “What’s the big deal ass” you may ask. The big deal, these tan pants are uncomfortable for my psyche. It begins as simple as being invited to some formal occasion….weddings, graduations, business parties, FUNERALS (aren’t they all), etc. So you go in search of a ...
Version 1
83 Reviews
22 Comments
More events have come of late…ones that require me bear the uniform of acceptance…yes, the Khakis. The Khakis are destroying the world within I live…people I know are considering them to be the new blue jeans. What the Fuck is that about. I know that you may be thinking, “What’s the bid deal ass?” the big deal is that these tan pants are uncomfortable for my psyche. It begins as simple as being invited to some formal occasion….weddings, graduations, business parties, FUNERALS (aren’t they all...
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Reviews
I like the the second half of the piece more. The first two stanzas almost seem cliche cheesy with the love lost poem. then the switch to the pub and the remander of the piece seems to be more honest. It was more fun. When people have heart loss they hit the pub! The first two stanzas were the Woe is ME type and the last was this darker true feeling of remembering and loss. It was the fun side of the piece. You may think about rewriting the first two graphs to match the rest. You could have s...
You have a lot of nice stuff going on in this peice. Overall it is easy for the reader to follow. You have good transition and flow in the piece. One picky thing to clear up comes in the line, "Sitting at the window table of our favorite restaurant...now long gone." What is long gone, the table, the resturaunt, the table, or the memory of things. You almost get a little to artsy here but I think you could just reword to get what you really want! As for the last stanza you can not decide on. I...
Never say "in this research paper." Just say it. People who read this will get what you are writing about. You might want to move the definition of Sexual harassment. It would be important to know early. Work it into your intro. You make sexual Harassment sound serious, yet you take some of the impact away when you say, "It is often confused with flirting." Flirting makes harassment sound playful when its not. You seem to fall in a common trap. You define harassment then take about it being a...
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