Cameron's profile

Cameron avatar
AGE: 32
LOC: Nottingham, MD
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 13

Ok so I’m 29, and turning back to writing for the umpteenth time in my life. I’ve done a little of everything including spending three years as a college journalist. I even won an award, but I’m not sure what the article I won it for was. I have not yet gotten a short story published, although I’m hoping this time around I will show greater resolve than I have in the past.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
10 Reviews   3 Comments
The smell of some places never washes out, Devrin thought as he walked through the docks. The warped docks underneath his feet bent slightly. The air hung damp and warm trapping the mixed smells of fish guts, piss, cheap ale and vomit around him. A few sailors eyed him as he passed; the two long knives and the axe strapped to his back were enough to keep them silent. He felt happy about it. He didn’t need them starting anything. Not until he found out the job Gallo had recommended him for. T...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / The Citizen's Money Chap. 2
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
The sun outside the warehouse made Devrin’s eyes squint. The aeromancer stood beside him dressed in a loose white robe. His eyes scanned the docks. A brown tide floated out underneath them, even the sewage didn’t know where to go in this heat. “So why is an aeromancer this far out from Alethion?” He asked. She looked at him and, for a second, Devrin thought he could see her fingers twitch. “Working,” she said in the same soft breezy voice. “Talking… tires me, so please save your questions. W...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / That's What Friends Do
Version 1
10 Reviews   4 Comments
The cold air whispered down the street as Mark shoved his hands into his Celtics jacket. The beer he had drank still cast shadows through his brain. He stomped his feet and tried to get feeling back into them. Tim hadn’t changed, always late. Mark searched the street for a sign of his motorcycle and started to pace. The empty buildings loomed around him, and he spat on the sidewalk. Off in the distance, a Harley growled. The motorcycle’s headlight painted the roadway in color. The granite bu...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Fences
Version 2
30 Reviews   4 Comments
Kip and I tossed rocks toward the highway as we sat in the dead stubble of the wheat field. While he released another missile at the passing trucks, I glanced at the solid brown line that stood above the field. “He’s getting pretty far on it,” I said. “It’s friggen weird, if you ask me,” Kip answered digging in his pocket for something. He brought out a small, black canister and twirled it in his fingers. “Yeah it is,” I answered. “What’s that?” “Oh just a roll of film I stole from the Robin...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Voyeur (working title)
Version 1
5 Reviews   1 Comment
The seasons measured in the desserts my mom puts on the table and the years follow the harvest. In fact, time doesn’t seem to touch the town at all. Until Mr. Robinson started to build his fence. Kip and I tossed rocks toward the highway as we sat in the dead stubble of the wheat field. While he released another missle at the passing trucks, I glanced at the solid brown line that stood above the field. “He’s getting pretty far on it,” I said. “It’s friggen weird, if you ask me,” Kip answered ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Short Story / Armageddon
Locked
Young Adult / To Have & To Hold
Hrm... not sure what you mean by positive feedback. I think there are some things you do well, such as description and characterization. However that said you may want to cut the scene with the two harbors. It's a little overdone. Honestly I think the weepy bit seems out of character. If he is a hard-nosed, go get um kind of guy wouldn't he make an action plan or be more proactive to try to help the marriage. I've met a lot of salesmen (and women) like that. Anyways any questions or comments ...
There is a lot I like about the language of this piece. When they work your abstract language is beautiful However like you said it is a bit too dense and obscure in a lot of places. The biggest places that stand out to me are the first two paragraphs which honestly almost stopped me from reading this. The second is right after you mention the fifth season. The character is well developed and some of your descriptions work, but you have a tendency toward the abstract colorful language, which ...
Short Story / Thanks to Michael
Ok... I like the story, but I'm not too sure about the frame of it. It tends to smack a little too much of telling without showing. I understand you have a narrator type voice going on here, but I think it would work just as well without it, or with something more along the line of: The story starts in a bar called Character's. It is the type of place where your shoes make cracking noises as you lift them off the floor. The beer costs more than the store, but less than the gas station. Or at ...
Short Story / Vincent's Nerve
There is a lot going on with this piece that I like. You definitely have an interesting character here, and an interesting writing style. However that said you have a whole lot of lead up for just one conversation. I found myself skipping ahead to try to get through the jumbled thoughts of the main character. I would consider trimming it back so you can get at the meat of the story (the fact that he is obsessing about this girl who is going to ask him for Bob's phone number). On a more nitpic...
Favorites
ITEMS (2)

 

Short Story / Still Life

[ View all ]