Calypsoidal1's profile

Calypsoidal1 avatar
AGE: 37
LOC: Bellingham, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 22

I write big books.  I’ve finished eight of them, plus five stage plays (three performed, including a musical history of the CIA), three format-proper screenplays, a graphic novel, a few comics, and lots and lots of essays.  I hate my writing, so I joined URBIS because I’m sick of writing in a void.  And yes, I drew my own avatar.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews   10 Comments
The platform hovered above the dizzying heights of the restored city of Machu Picchu, well clear of the city limits of Orinoco. Below them, the Urubamba Valley was alive with a glowing dance of colored floodlights moving in a grand kaleidoscope across the steep mountains and lush jungles. The terraced hillside beneath the city gushed out a floral waterfall, an explosion of colored petals waving slowly in the evening breeze. Gold trim glistened like a conquistador's fantasy on restored limesto...
Ratings & Rankings
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / When Barack Obama is Assassinated
Version 1
6 Reviews   11 Comments
Perhaps that's too pessimistic. Perhaps I should open with "If." _If_ Barack is assassinated, what will you do? If he is shot by a crazed loner who once considered joining the Aryan Nation, perhaps someone who just got back from two tours in Iraq, perhaps someone who doesn't want to have the first "black" President be someone who didn't come from slave stock...Maybe even a Kenyan from a rival ethnic group. As unlikely as I think it is, go ahead and imagine it, for just a moment. _If_ Barack O...
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 Plus-button Clarity
Short Story / Brookside
Version 1
7 Reviews   12 Comments
BROOKSIDE Charles looked at the stack of paperwork on his desk as he played Kenda’s message again. “I’m in trouble. I need your help. Please come to the restaurant. Hurry.” The stack of paperwork seemed to pout like a jilted middle child: employee reviews, phone logs, third-round calibrations statistics from the new Marchwell-Hammarschach steel buff press, a folder of cc’ed emails from the Hamburg offices that may or may not contain the initial specs for the new Schampfer high precision osteo...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
9 Reviews   7 Comments
CHAPTER 2 LEAVING LOS ANGELES There I was in the chain link cage of an LAPD satellite precinct with thirty of the most annoying women I’d ever met. _Who wears lime green hot pants with a red tube top and a magenta weave?_ Their loud, needy voices pummeled my aching eardrums with a hard-beat “fuck-shit” language: _“Don’t be talkin’ that shit about me, you nasty-ass chicken-head bitch. I’ll fuck you up.”_ Beyond this painful dissonance and the eyesore fashions, the worst thing was the smell: th...
Novel Treatments / Total's Life In Sane
Version 9
16 Reviews   17 Comments
CHAPTER 1 THE INTERVIEW So there I was, shaking my rubber-wrapped ass on the dance floor at Sane in the provincial hippie sanctuary of Holy Cross, California. I did my best thinking with my hips in motion, and the funky bass riff of Stevie Wonder’s “Higher Ground” was just what the doctor ordered. I was working out a plan to seduce a chemist. The solution was just tickling my pelvis when someone tapped me on the shoulder. “Total!” I spun around and crashed into the white block letters of a SA...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Ghost In Me Chapter 3
Locked
Novel Treatments / Angel in Residence Ch. 2 part 1
Having reviewed Part 2, I have the same comments: the wonderful writing, the easy dialogue, just a few places where one too many descriptions crowds into a single sentence, like the library. But it held my interest, the strange story of how all this stuff ended up in this house...Really a pleasure. _They turned off the walk to the front door and walked under_ - walk/walked _Lemons trees against the wall smothered the arched basement windows with dust and dead leaves._ - the dust and dead leav...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Dear Father
This piece seems to lack a sense of perspective. Time, distance. Standing at an open casket or remembering the loss later? The questions are for an absentee father, not a dead one. "Shake the cobwebs" - cliche, confusing. "had placed" and "place[d] it into" - was this present tense on purpose?
Young Adult / Gifted, Ch. 4
I liked much of this chapter, but found the writing holding it back. Good interaction between the sisters, not so good with the parents. Nice level in Addie's warning about college, good sense of Charlotte being between two things. _She was met with a wave of camp smells_ - Careful using this "she was met" construction, which weakens the wave of camp smells. _It was Addie. Her sister was using her don’t-use-all-the-hot-water voice_ - could be combined to avoid the "sister was using." Also, yo...
I loved it. Nothing jarred my attention. Everything you brought up you followed through on. So: concrit? _wanting to get settled_ - this struck me as a little weak; in the opening, something stronger. No suggestions. _cursory glance_ - cliche? Something unexpected maybe. Maybe it's her first time away from home. Maybe she doesn't know any strapping Kansas farmboys... _He rose slowly_ - adverb, again can be stronger. And in his answer, he seemed to be almost repeating Marcia but with more word...