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C_Patience's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Cocoa, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 14
LOC: Cocoa, FL
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 14
I am fairly new to showing others my poetry but I’ve been writing since I was about seven years old. I love using words to express myself; both what I’m feeling and what I’ve never felt.
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Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Sitting here lost and forgotten, Collecting dust and grime. Remembering what once was, Pondering my greater time. When I was more than boredom, When I brought dreams to life. Each sentence holding joy or fear, Each word happiness or strife. But now I sit here on this shelf, Lost, aged and forgotten. Thought of as sorry syllables, To be read;considered rotten. Above the earth, against the wall, Left out perched high above ground. The saddest part is while useless here, I'm always look dow...
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I like how you put me at the Fish Farm. Even without going into too much detail, I still gett the sense of the environment. That and the connection you made with who is reading. I have friends just like that.
I absolutely love your description of the explosions. I feel as if I can feel the blaze. I don't feel as if the flow is that choppy at all. One thing that I was a little confusing to me is "he shuts his phoenix eyes", even if you don't change anything if you could explain that use of descripition I would appreciate it. I feel it is a superb poem.
I very much enjoyed the rich use of food descriptors used. It gave me something that I could connect with all my senses. It definately makes you think; which in my book is a big plus. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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