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Bluedolphin's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 18
Working on my first Novel – Soul Mate
Would you really want to know the answers to all your life long questions?
Julia thought she did, she longed to understand her visions, her raw instincts, and why she just never felt as if she belonged to the coven. After a century of living life as a witch within the coven, Julia losses her most loved person, Abigail. Who rescued Julia from a horrible accident and brought her within the coven. No longer under Abigail’s protection and guidance Julia leaves the coven to persue her own happiness and answers.
She begins her own life, away from the coven. Julia begins to have a relationship with a handsome, mysterious vampire. Everything is falling into place better then she could have ever ex…
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Version 1
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Cole knocked on the door and waited; Julia opened it with surprise. “Hello, my name is Cole and I noticed you just moved in. I wanted to come by and meet my new neighbor.” He gave Julia a devilish smirk. At the sight of him, Julia's body was overwhelmed with a warm feeling. She didn't realize how much she had missed it until this moment. Was he that powerful, to have such an effect in his presence? She was speechless, he was the last person she expected at her door. Nevertheless, knocking at...
Version 1
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Julia woke up, mid-morning, stretching over the mattress. She laid there watching the rays of sunshine peek through the blinds. Bits and pieces of last night flashed in front of her. She rolled over and sighed. Laying her head on her folded arms she watched the dust particles play in the sunlight. What would Abigail think of last night? Julia lifted her lips into a half smile and gave a little chuckle. Abigail would have had her moving out before her head hit the pillow, last night. She neve...
Version 2
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Present Year 2000 Something smelled funny, sea air mixed with dirt and fertilizer? The stench tickled her nose. Julia opened her eyes, her vision being clear in the center but fuzzy around the edges. Revealing, she was on the ground; in an outdoor shed. There was glass, dirt, pots, and plants, broken and scattered all over the floor. Her head throbbed in pain, she quickly rolled over just in time for a huge blob to come crashing down, where her head had been. Taking deep breaths she stumbled ...
Version 3
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Prologue The Year: 1900 He saw her exit the shop. How convenient, a lonely lady who could use some company. My first victim of many for tonight. A sly smile crawled over his face. A perfect beginning to start the night with. She was young and beautiful. He would have no problems swaying this young creature for his need. He stepped out of the shadows and appeared next to her. “With such a dark night my lady should be chaperoned.” He tilted his head up revealing his face from the brim of his...
Version 3
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Creative! Brave! Independent! Young and Free!
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Reviews
When the Master spoke to Delah and the two boys, the first time, it was unclear at that point if he knew what had happened. I would mention that he only saw them running. "She heard him lecturing her classmates, even while passersby talked, made background noise." - Who was making the background noise? When the teacher took the four children from their seats, where did they go? Some room, I would explain more. Once again, great alternative world, I'm getting a real feel for the characters. I'...
Once again I like it. I found it odd that Borell would call Teeabu over without more hesitation. A few errors: "Jerron…look what made me do. Made me spill my snack,” Teeabu whined. - "YOU" seems to be missing "While he soaked in the sound of the crowd traffic" - I think you should just mention crowd or traffic not both "decided he didn’t want miss out on this little adventure" - "TO" is missing "so that meant it took ninety-six people to occupy one compartment' - I felt like this was a little...
I have a hard time understanding how someone fails at life. I liked the part about gaining success and needing therapy. Maybe try re-wording the first bit.
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