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Billinnlr's profile
AGE:
55
LOC: North Little Rock, AR
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 07
LOC: North Little Rock, AR
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 07
I am a 52 yo with little education but tons of life experience. I’ve been a firefighter, a sailor, a bail bondsman and countless other things in my life. ‘The Sailor and the Senorita” is a non-fiction account of a love affair between myself and the lady pictured. I have tried my very best to give an honest telling of the story in hopes that some day whe will read it and hopefully it will mean as much to her as it did to me. I have no doubts it will.
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Version 4
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“Who you, and why the hell you slapping my ass? Man, get your fingers outta my mouth, you mutha, damn got me gagging an all…what you blowing your damn stinky breath in my face for? Man these lights are bright and here I am havin trouble focusin and all, and who the hell is that shriveled up nasty ass skank laying there all cryin an shit… talking bout her baby. If’n anybody should be cryin, it’d be me, all wid dis dude slappin on me and shit an Nah, don’t tell me that bitch is …Mom? My Mom? N...
Version 2
1 Review
1 Comment
He sat alone in the corner, on the floor of a dark, musky hotel room. The cold blue steel of the barrel parting his lips. His hands at once steady, resolute, determined to see it through, then trembling, his mind full of doubt. He blinked as tears slowly crept from his eyes, meandering down his cheek, falling to the hardwood floor. In the reflective pool of the tears he could see the intermittent flash of the hotel’s neon sign. Darkness and then the light again, reminding him of the momentar...
Version 1
1 Review
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He sat alone in the corner, on the floor of a dark, musky hotel room. The cold blue steel of the barrel parting his lips. His hands at once steady, resolute, determined to see it through, then trembling, his mind full of doubt. He blinked as tears slowly crept from his eyes, meandering down his cheek, falling to the hardwood floor. In the reflective pool of the tears he could see the intermittent flash of the hotel’s neon sign. Darkness and then the light again, reminding him of the momentar...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
It is said in life that when one door closes another opens. The thing is, if you dwell on that closed door too long, you may never see the open door. I was lucky. This is the story of how the greatest heartbreak I’ve ever known opened the door to the greatest love. Thanksgiving Day and the cooks aboard the USS Farragut really proved their worth with a spread that would have made the Pilgrims proud. Turkey and ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans and fresh bread all topped off with a h...
Version 2
4 Reviews
0 Comments
It is said in life that when one door closes another opens. The thing is, if you dwell on that closed door too long, you may never see the open door. I was lucky. This is the story of how the greatest heartbreak I’ve ever known opened the door to the greatest love. Thanksgiving Day and the cooks aboard the USS Farragut really proved their worth with a spread that would have made the Pilgrims proud. Turkey and ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans and fresh bread all topped off with a h...
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Reviews
Her white dress floated slowly across the dirty hardwood floor and her tears left small ripples in the dust. (I would change ripples to spatters twin opposites both happy little boys, Peter always hyper and happy, whilst (I would put a period after little boys) getting better and then worse then getting so ill that he had to remain in bed (I would have said at first getting better before taking aturn for the worse, leaving him bed ridden, both from illness and guilt.) A strong coughing fit ov...
Your style is so unique. I found nothing to criticize. Would perhaps be interesting to know see you tell us about your place.
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Okay, I enjoyed this very much. I can't find anything to be critical of and I am looking forwards to reading some more which I will do tomorrow, I promise. By the way, what about his clover girl?
I can strongly identify with this story. The only things I can see that I would add would be a little more drama in certain passages. For instance, when the father tossed the brother into the air, a pause here with more descriptive language, painting a picture for us of a child caught between terror and joy, of the sister fearing for her brothers safety and yet at the same time wishing for her fathers attention. I think that could have helped, but who am I to be critical. I liked the story an...
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