AstridM's profile Prolific-icon-large

AstridM avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: Edmond, OK
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 09

Contrary to popular belief, AstridM is not a bear standing on a street in Berlin. But she met one once, and they had a lovely afternoon together.

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Items
Version 3
8 Reviews   7 Comments
Charlotte stood in the front yard, hands jammed in her pockets, with twilight falling around her. A charcoal cat purred and licked one paw, letting her know he could wait all day. Listening was one of Max’s skills, and that was why Em had sent him. “I’ve decided to accept.” She held her breath, and waited for the sign that she'd been heard. Only a few seconds passed before the gentle explosion of light. Charlotte had grown accustomed to the quick bursts, people appearing suddenly as if from t...
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Version 1
9 Reviews   5 Comments
Some days Charlotte wanted to wear her sunglasses while at work. The bright clashing hues made Pet Palace look like the Taj Mahal as decorated by kindergarteners. As Charlotte arrived one such morning, half asleep and clutching a grape Slurpee, she took off her sunglasses and found the store empty. They were supposed to be doing inventory before the store opened. Gibbons would be firing people for sure if they all skipped out. It was not unexpected for one or two of them to be running late, b...
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Young Adult / Gifted, Chapter Eight
Version 1
6 Reviews   0 Comments
The creaking door woke her. She heard the shuffle of feet and heard the a pop as someone flicked the light switch. The florescent lights flickered, then shone at their full strength, which was a sickly pale green. Charlotte shielded her eyes with the damp cloth. She couldn’t tell what time it was. The clock on the wall had been broken for weeks, and nobody cared enough to fix it. “Randall? I thought you’d forgotten about me. How long have I been back here?” “Sorry, it’s not Randall. And I did...
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Young Adult / Gifted, Chapter Seven
Version 1
7 Reviews   1 Comment
Chapter Seven Every third Saturday was adoption day at the store, and the city shelter brought in dogs and cats in hopes that they wouldn't have to take them back at the end of the day. Mr. Gibbons had put Charlotte on adoption duty right after she began working at Pet Palace. He said it was because she had a talent for finding homes for the animals, but the truth was that he refused to associate with the strays or anyone who would want them. He preferred to stay in his tiny windowless office...
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Young Adult / Gifted, Ch. 6
Version 1
8 Reviews   3 Comments
Months passed, and her mother stopped mentioning the therapist during her weekly phone calls. Charlotte arranged most of her visits to coincide with Joanna's bridge nights and pilates classes for good measure. Her attention turned back to Addie, where both Addie and Charlotte knew it belonged. One November morning, Charlotte awoke to a change. The image of the girl had not missed a single night since the summer, and the absence of the dreams was almost as jarring as the appearance of them had...
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Reviews
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Trilogy of Wings
Locked
Hmmm. You've got some nice descriptions. Using "rooted" to describe Hank was a nice play on the scene involving a tree. I didn't really connect with the characters, perhaps because of the distance between them and the narrator. Have you ever considered writing this from Lena's point of view instead? Your third paragraph especially seems to lend itself to that. We don't really get much of Hank's thoughts here, but we do have some of Lena's. waived - should be waved Hank turned around and looke...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Glass Ceiling-Part 1
Locked
Short Story / The Plight of Alex
There are several grammar and punctuation problems that stick out. You've got problems with verb tenses being used incorrectly, and you switch tenses several times throughout. Also brush up on punctuation rules, especially for comma use and quotations. Watch out for sentence fragments; I noticed several including: Whether it be lyrical, musical or even theatrical. Most of all, after spending a great deal of time with a good friend from the past. That when love is real, all else can fall into ...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Skins and Gears
Locked