AnnaElizabeth's profile
AGE:
18
LOC: Toledo, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 26
LOC: Toledo, OH
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 26
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
PART ONE CHAPTER TWO This is how Faylin ended up in the library. There happened to be an inconspicuous door on the third floor that lead to the upper balcony of the vast library. Now that Faylin was there, peaking around a dusty brown bookcase, she began to see the benefits of hiding in the library and wondered why she hadn’t thought of it before. It was perhaps the largest room in the entire castle. It was definitely larger than the dining hall, Faylin thought. The perimeter was oval-shaped ...
Version 5
6 Reviews
2 Comments
PROLOGUE “So who are you anyway?” “What? You know who I am, I’m Faylin”, though she knew exactly what he meant. “Oh, come on.” Faylin sighed and her countenance sunk at a memory and for a moment, she was silent. Beyond the cliff they sat on, the sun set magnificently; casting a yellow-orange light over the valley below. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to...”, Rowan suddenly realized that he had brought up a very serious topic. The unusually soft mountain breeze joined th...
Version 3
6 Reviews
5 Comments
PROLOGUE “So who are you anyway?” “What? You know who I am, I’m Faylin”, though she knew exactly what he meant. “Oh, come on.” Faylin sighed and her countenance sunk at a memory and for a moment, she was silent. Beyond the cliff they sat on, the sun set magnificently; casting a yellow-orange light over the valley below. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to...”, Rowan suddenly realized that he had brought up a very serious topic. The unusually soft mountain breeze joined th...
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
Silence It sometimes hurts And sometimes heals It’s ever present And always gone It’s awkward And wonderful It exists And it doesn’t It results from love And comes from hate It happens in punishment And during the crime It’s in concentration And apart of a daydream I long for it And I hate it I need it when it’s gone
Version 3
5 Reviews
2 Comments
When you don’t know where you’re going Life is just a blur When you don’t know why you’re talking Words are just a slur When you don’t know what you’re doing Actions are your words When you don’t know how to move forward You'll only go backwards When you don’t know why you’re living Days fade into each other When you don’t know why life’s cruel The world looses its color When you can’t pick your self up You think you’ll just stay down But the only way to live Is to get up off the ground
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Reviews
The is creatively written, and I really liked it. I think you should try and make it longer.
Your characters are likable and believable and your plot is fun to read. Occasionally you have two words stuck together and they need a space, unless you are doing that on purpose in the dialogue. Greenie's dad is this perfect person that Greenie tragically lost, which is cliche. I like what you do with it, but maybe you could try not to make his dad so perfect all the time. I do like him the way he is though, its just a suggestion. Keep up the good work!
So far so good. I did see some spelling and grammar mistakes though. I liked this a lot. It is so comical. You have a perfect writing style. I love how you describe every one especially when you say Sacha is only good at shopping. This is definitely publishing material.
-What I really like about this piece is how interesting everything is! You have done a very good job with the plot. I really enjoyed reading this! -I think it’s interesting that your characters are so unique. Most people write cookie cutter characters. This adds a realness element to your story. I really like that! But after a while it seems to be too much. You just keep introducing new characters. I can’t keep track of them all, its way to much for one chapter. I can see where you are going ...
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