definitely interesting. The format and stream of thought texture and german words compliment each other in that Gertrude Stein type of way. At first it the seeming frivolity makes it seem superficial, but the reader (me in this case) can't help but wonder what lies beneath the playfullness and repitition. At first I did not like the rhyming ending dead/red/thread but at second glance I think it melds with the spontanaity of the piece. If I had to catagorize this style, it would be Stein meets...

despite this review being "annonymous", I can tell by the style that this is the same author I previously reveiwed. Anyhow,delete: "And blew it from us…" "(Or, take this analogy, modernity: As the driver is to the automobile…)". THe former just gets in the way of the flow, the latter really is out of place and ruins the enchanting wordplay, foreign words, and ancient references. The last stanza like the other poem ends in a flurry of rhyme, but I'm not sure it works in this particular poem. F...

This is the first time I have come across this work or pieces like it, so I'm a little unsure if this is part of a series, so I'll jst treat this as a single work for now. I can tell that this is a very polished piece. The voice sounds robotic, objective, scientific. This along with the references to titles like the CHild, the negotiator, the watcher, the hall of the holy set the detached, timeless, spaceless tone, which fits into the fantasy genre. THe only real suggestion I have is that wit...

Fn funny. She looks nice, but she stinks - this sounds like a conundrum to me! I guess if you have no sense of smell, problem solved! But if you're blind, that would REALLY suck.

This is a very solid poem. The opening line,"Pebbles, rocks, ruts and ridges" is a great hook, very visceral. You provide very specific details like " 2 X 4’s and fiberboard" but feel that in the middle of the poem, it becomes almost an inventory of things as opposed to nicely worded images. That is to say, I like the concrete visuals but feel like this poem desperately needs a simile here, metaphor there, etc. to counter balance the inventory like specifics. I also think these specific lines...

this has got to be the funniest poem I've read thus far on this site! How can anyone resist the title alone? It's not only funny, but I think it's good social criticism on how advertisements turn EVERYTHING into sex, even shampooing for crying out loud(no pun intended)! Now Carls Jr is doing some weird cow/chicken beastiality thing - where does it end? Anyways...I liked the orgasmic simulation, thought it added to the absurdity, which is why I kind of wanted the poem to end on that note, or s...

I was debating whether to give the review in spanish or english...Well, english it is. I like the poem overall, I think it has very vivd details that mixes well with the more emotional undertones. I do have a few suggestions though. I think you should get rid of your first two lines and start with, "esos ojos contienen algo mas." Also, your fourth stanza is a bit cliche - it doesn't have any real imagery. I think that the one big problem you do have in this poem is that it probably needs MORE...

Your start and finish are strong; I especially like the lines "The verbal blade that cuts and rips/ The serrations of "Sorry" - it came out of left field, so to speak. I suppose I would recommend that instead of saying "down for the count" (which is a boxing figure of speech) - maybe refer to a knife figure of speech? (if there is such a thing!) And I'm not sure why you capitalize "She," unless you are personifing some abstract idea like Summer or something. And in one line you say that it is...

This is very good. I haven't reviewed a work on this site for a long time, so that should tell you something that I'm here. Prose? Well, that is always a subject for debate. Baudelaire wrote many poems in paragraph form, and no one except hardcore "formalist" will deny it' poetry, so you don't have to worry about that. What makes this poem-ish is that you use specifice images + unique rhythm + turn of phrases, metaphors and other poetic rhetorical structure. While great prose utilizes these s...

I never quite know how to do this effieciently on-line...on paper you can just see my marks and commments, but here - well? I'll try chronologically, then maybe an overview? I'm not sure what specific concerns you had, so that's the best I got. You do a really good job of using details in order to convey the moment and characters, and as such I would like to see the dialogue and/or acts do more of the work than the narration. For example, at the beginning you state that "she felt the touch of...