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A_Pseudonym's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 25
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 25
I joined this site, at the behest of a friend, to review some great works and to reveal some long coveted musings in an attempt to arrive at some point of catharsis regarding a series of circumstances long past. The “Just a letter” series is open to all criticism and bears no significance other than the stated goals to me, myself, as the writer. I hope that it may prove insighful to some, but really, I’m just putting it out there to see what comes of it.
Random friend requests will be rejected; I believe in the integrity of language; a friend means something more to me than a review or message.
I hope you understand. All we really want to be in life is understood for who we are, or perhaps who we were… Thank you for your time and rev…
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
This seems to be the only way that I can communicate with you at the moment. I can say as much as I would or would not like to say and you can stop reading any time. That’s the only downside. I can say so much and perhaps none of it will ever be heard. That seems to be the case regardless. I’m always trying to tell you something in songs, in words, in actions or with the frequently flawed combination of my mind and my mouth. You still refuse to distinguish between the reality of a feeling tha...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Sunday I drove by you and felt an immediate sensation that the vacancy in my heart was going to collapse in upon itself. I sent you a text message wishing you a good day to keep some vestige of life in that wasteland. That spawned work, and your wanting to see me to say something. You sounded quite jovial in your text messaging, I abstained from too much tone. Whatever the news, it wasn’t immediate enough to stop two days from passing, but now it’s Tuesday, I’m leaving for Canada tomorrow mor...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
A babysitter is sitting on the other end of the couch waiting for dad to drive her home. She is on the phone, laughing, fiddling her foot around, and saying “I love you” to her boyfriend. Naturally, I’m thinking of you. I remember our first encounter where I was swept up into your eyes and your smile and your warmth after trudging through the cold December night to the dreaded banquet. I remember my eyes widening, my heart filling up a little more than usual, and taking a deep breath. I remem...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews
4 Comments
It is October 28, 2004. Yesterday we had what could have been the last true talk we may ever have. It didn’t go too well. I have no recourse but to try to let you go. It hasn’t gone too well so far. It’s 1:15 am. I assume you won’t be calling back tonight (this morning) and so I’ve decided to try and capture what I can in what manner I can most clearly convey my thoughts; not that I’m ever thinking wholly clearly thinking when thinking of you, but such is life. I finally smoked my graduation ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
6 Comments
These letters never seem to find me at peace. I’ve been told that happiness writes blank. So here I am again. As far as Wed. Jan. 14 goes, I can’t think of a worse day in my life, which is saying quite a bit considering a few I’ve been through. What makes it so bad is that I was madly in love with you until about 21:00, then after the movie I woke up to a few repeated revelations. I finally know what you always meant when you said you felt like we were breaking up every time we spoke. I think...
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The tale is a little sparse in that not much happens. A blanket, a memory, a summation: end narrative; I think a little bit of specificity regarding the characters would enrich the attempt. I'm left wanting more of something, anything, to invest in the work. - A_P
The meaning should be accessible without messaging the poet. It can be hard to get to, require thought, study, effort and imagining, but there needs to be enough within the poem, to acheive something in its own rite. It's a catchy poem. If it requires another to make sense of it, perhaps you should just post the two together. Good luck. - A_P
Poems like this I always find a little weak. It just seems to drag one's attention down the page with it. The repetition seems unwarranted do to the seemingly formless structure. Even the rhythm is inconsistant. It hink with this type of poem you'd be better off to work it into a traditional form of sorts. It's already halfway to being a villanelle! It just seem effortlessly composed and I'd rather work more and get something worthwhile from the effort than have something handed to me. That m...
It doesn't seem to me as though the reviewer notes are intended for this particular piece. This doesn't tell much of anything; it's neither plot nor charcter-study driven enough to entirely engage a reader. It's self-censored, and you don't show us much about either charcter to warrant the caution at the beginning of the [story]. I only found one edit in the first paragraph: "was no food in [it], for me or the cat" missing word. I really think that this needs work as a character study (or sh...
A "NAME:" does not make a rant a play for the stage. This could be an effective monologue of sorts, but even still there is a lot of necessary information missing. A play requires a few primary elements (vague as they may be) in order to work as something that actors, directors, and artists can do. That's the first problem; nothing happens. Second, third, etc. there are no characters (except Lydia, but there is no description or characterization of her) there's no setting, no plot, no change,...
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