AFeelingBeing's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: Massapequa Park, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 12
LOC: Massapequa Park, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 12
Why should I even attempt to summarize myself in this small sample of text?
I can simply say that, though I am young (very young by the majority of your standards), I am not stupid, nor am I the least bit juvenile. I’ve not been known to act my age, and that statement is clearly supported through my writing. “Wise beyond her years” they all said, and still do, might I add.
I suppose that’s all you need to know. And, frankly, that’s all you’re going to get. The rest you can assume through the words that pour from my mind through my fingertips and right onto the Urbis page.
Items
Version 3
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Rule 1: Cigarettes are a bitch. Get off 'em, quick. And really any other type of rolled and smoked object. As much as you try to get rid of them, they never quite go away. Oenn Savage stared at his cigarette in disgust. Well, what was left of it anyway: it was burned all the way to a snub and still smoldering. "Damn cancerous thing," he muttered, and threw it to the ground. The ashes fell off the end before it even landed. He stared at it mournfully on the ground for a moment, and then crushe...
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Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Dorian peered longingly into the night sky through the slit-like window of his housedome. The cacophany of the many united voices of the city of Arxlesis could be heard even through his tightly sealed door and window. He could only imagine what it was like up in that clear blue sky; he thought it certainly had to be more quiet than here. Dorian shook his head, his multitude of braided locks whipping in all directions. He harbored such disdain for the constant state of discordant noise. On th...
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Reviews
Chilling, I must say. It does pristinely portray the naivety of a child, unaware of possible dangers just as they stare them in the face. You were spot on when you described that such naivety as having a soul. It's a bleak view of adulthood, and knowledge anyway. It reminds me of many of William Blake's points of innocence versus experience. Though, this seems the ultimate exaggeration, to take a child's innocence to throw her into the face of death. How lovely. I loved it. Very nice.
I do like this! About absinthe, I know, and it's also called Absinthe wormwood... but the first stanza makes it sound like fishing. But I do love this last stanza: "Drinking in your wormwood tides It leaves a bitter taste Milk white swirls eroticized You brew me absinthe tea" I love it very much. Very nice.
I so love it. "A tree full of sighs, bearing flesh that reveals pink seeds, female, beginning of beginnings..." That gave me chills. Thank you. I have a question. I have a huge obsession with philosophical connotations of figs. Would you believe me if I said figs are the link between the Dharmic and Abrahamic religions?
This is possibly one of the best poems I have read. So elusive of boundaries, vague, and yet poetically conforming to the idea you are stressing. How very lovely. Ardor abound.
I liked it, and yet I didn't like it. Here's why: I liked it because you embodied the emotion of the female protagonist, as well as the male antagonist pristinely. That is cleare. I disliked it because it lacked descriptive, rich language, and just "listed" things. I think if you added that factor, it would be a world better.
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